Love DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN.
1 Corinthians 13:5
Looking over our nearly 12 years together, my Love has faced many major crossroads:
- Where to go and what to do after earning his master’s degree? To move or to stay? To go to more school or to get a job?
- Where to apply for residency after medical school? Which program is best? Where do we move to?
- Which job to take after residency? The one in San Antonio, or the one near Dallas, or something else entirely?
- What to do when it was time to move on from that job? Move again? Where? How?
In every decision, my Love would have made radically different choices if he were seeking his own. Being selfish. Vying and trying to get ahead. Looking out for number one. Living for himself.
Frankly, if that had been his heart, we would have been one of the many couples that didn’t survive long-distance. In fact, the naysayers warned that we wouldn’t make it. It’s a long way from Dallas to Miami, and two years can feel like a lifetime. But the thing is, my Love went to medical school knowing that he was there for us. As much as he was pursuing a dream, he was faithfully laying the foundation of our family’s future. It wasn’t about him; it was about us and our future children.
With every decision, he asked me. He considered me. He valued me. He listened to my thoughts, concerns, and dreams. Never wanting me to merely follow him around on his journey and forget about my own, he diligently and tenderly discussed every crossroads with me, and we prayed through them all. He never approached me with an agenda, with a list of academic or professional reasons why we needed to do this or go there; instead, he has always been open. “Here are the options so far. What do you think?”
Another way to translate the verse above is to simply say that love is not selfish. When you’re not selfish, you’re acknowledging that you’re not the only self in the room. Your hopes, dreams, logic, intelligence, accomplishments, fears, failures, faith, doubt, abilities, talents, weaknesses, rights, and present needs do not trump anyone else’s. Rather, Love seeks to know and understand as much about the hearts of other selves as he knows about his own. Now THAT describes the way my Love loves me, and I am so blessed!
I love you, my Love!