This was originally posted on an old blog of mine on July 31, 2008. It’s copied again here in its entirety as part of a series on the homeless. It is very hard for me to re-post this without edits, as it reveals a dark and judgmental heart. I can’t believe how honest I was the first time I posted this, but I’m trying to be inspired by my 2008, apparently courageous self.
If you haven’t yet read my post about Jesus walking up to my car, I would like to pause and ask you to do so first. I know that it’s kind of a long post, but that’s because it’s kind of important to me. I hope you don’t mind the time investment. This post is meant as a sequel to that one and I think it just makes sense to read them in order. I’ll try to keep this one significantly shorter to make up for the other one. 🙂
So Jesus walked up to my car in Miami a little less than a year ago. He was a filthy, possibly drunk, homeless man, but I already told you about that. What I didn’t tell you about was that roughly a month ago, Jesus was in San Antonio and He was a lesbian beggar. Let me back up a little.
After insulting Jesus in Miami, I had a serious change of heart. That moment affected me in ways I can’t even begin to explain, even though I attempted to in the post. (I’m still not happy with how I told it.) Anyway, I decided that the best thing to do would be to get gift cards to Subway and hand them out. If they’re really hungry, they can eat. And as a bonus, it really was pretty healthy food. Some hobos appreciated it and asked God to bless me while some refused it completely. That’s okay.
Fast forward to San Antonio. I really just didn’t expect to see homeless people here; I don’t know why. I guess I associated them with Miami and thought things would be peachy here. I mean – this is Texas, after all. So, I have not kept up with my Subway gift cards, nor have I paid any attention to homeless people at all.
Therefore, at the intersection of Huebner and Babcock, when I saw a rather masculine-looking bum with a buzz cut, camo pants, and breasts, I did not have the upwelling of compassion I had become accustomed to in Miami. Here was my actual thought process as I approached the intersection: “Is he holding a sign? Wonder if he’s creative or if it’s the same as all the others. Wait… no way is that a chick? Ha – it’s a lesbian. Weird. I’ve never seen a gay homeless girl.” And I turned the corner without another thought. Until later, of course. Not only did I dismiss her because she was homeless, but I also dismissed her because she was [probably] gay.
I could say a lot here, but I’m going to save it for a later post. I just want to end with two questions and a reminder.
1. Since when did God sanction a feeling of superiority among His followers?
2. When is God ever pleased when we devalue His precious creation?
“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”
(This post is part of a series on the Homeless, and how Jesus has been revealing my heart to me through them everywhere I’ve lived for years. To read all posts in this series, click here.)